As a person who loves philosophy and has, since childhood LOVED the idea of knowing myself deeply, I have found it extremely disconcerting how the topic of self development, among other things, has become sort of a personality accessory. The rise of these “gurus” sharing information, whether scientific or not, has caused people to think they could not function without journaling, meditating or giving up coffee. Everyone is trying to “fix” “control” “improve” themself.

I tried everything under the sun to “be better” and all it got me was burn out and an everlasting aversion to just accepting to however I was feeling in that moment.

I understand and agree that information is important, I also believe that the utmost authority on how we “should” be needs to come from ourselves and ourselves only. Taking in information is one thing but to listen to it as gospel is quite the other. If we would put the pen down and allow ourselves to just BE only then will our nervous system get the hint that we are in fact safe.

The more you do, the more you expect your body and mind to perform. The more expectations the more pressure and the more pressure…the less safe it will feel. If you journal everyday “to get something out of it” (lets face it thats what you are doing. You aren’t doing it because you genuinely enjoy it) you are just allowing your body to adapt to this safety net. It is still avoidance. If you wake up in a bad mood, you journal to “change your mindset” but really all you are doing is avoiding feeling the crappy feelings. What if you just let the crappy feelings be there while you made your coffee and walked your dog? What if you stopped pushing them away and just let them exist? They do pass. That tells your body “hey, this is safe to feel this and I am still alive.”

What if you woke up in the morning and accepted how you felt and just moved through your day? Allow your feelings and thoughts to be there without trying to control your brain and body at every turn?

That is the only when our body will get the hint that we are okay. When we are just living. Accepting, allowing, and living.

Let go. Stop trying to control every aspect of yourself and your body. You are making it worse.